I walk through crowds with shoulders straight,
A woman alone, divorced by fate.
Not just a title, but a wound they see,
Like I’m broken goods, no longer free.
They say I’m fat, they say it loud,
Dark like night, not fit for a crowd.
“Not exciting,” they laugh, as if I don’t hear,
As if my heart isn’t standing right here.
My family jokes like it’s all light play,
But each word bruises more every day.
Friends join in like it’s all in fun,
Yet somehow I’m the only one
Who doesn’t get to laugh,
Who shrinks inside when they all chaff.
I watch their eyes scan my shape,
Their smiles curve with silent hate.
And still, I smile, my practiced art,
While pain sits heavy in my heart.
Because if I cry, they’ll say I’m weak.
So I just nod, I joke, I speak,
Like none of it cuts, like I don’t care,
Like I’m not bleeding beneath their stare.
But in the mirror late at night,
I whisper truths I hide from light:
I want to be loved for just being me,
Not who they think I should be.
Yes, I am fat. And yes, I’m dark.
But my soul still burns, a quiet spark.
A woman risen from a life undone,
Still standing, still here, not yet run.
And maybe one day, someone will see
The fire I hide so carefully.
Not just a joke, not someone passed by,
But a whole **** storm behind these eyes.
Until then, I smile, the mask I wear,
Not because I’m fine,
But because I still care.