She gave me a love I never knew.
Each day, each hour it only grew.
Broke my heart open so it could become anew.
And I will love her forevermore.

She showed me a life that I didn’t know existed.
Family so close and loving I never knew how much I missed it.
Truly blessed to be even a small part of it.
The thought of it touched me to the core.

Every day she was more amazing than the last.
We told each other about our trouble past.
We held each other with words iron cast.
And said we loved each other more.

We talked, we cried, we laughed a lot.
We had nights that got rather hot.
We said we would never ever not.
Love each other nevermore.

All those secrets that we shared.
And just how much we really cared.
Our souls we deeply bared.
And always wanting for more.

And then one day, a mistake I made.
Angry words flew and I was forbade.
Told to wait while her rage would fade.
And I was never afraid more.

Rebuked for expressing my feelings.
Denied any and all dealings.
Our love it wasn’t healing.
She cut me too, even more.

I gave her time to regain our love’s health
While she put me high up on a shelf.
All alone and by myself.
Not a crumb did she leave on the floor.

I finally raged and demanded.
This treatment, I couldn’t understand it.
Punished for a mistake I never planned it.
I had to know the score.

Instead of her love I got hate.
She says she loves me but it’s too late.
I guess this was our love’s only fate.
As she walked right out the door.

She gave me much, and took pieces of my heart away.
Hopefully I’ll find them along my path someday.
I learned much although my heart is gray.
And I’ll love her forever more. More.

My heart was
Addicted to you
You were my
Drug of choice
But my head told me
You were
An illusion
Not a real thing
I absently minded
Rub the scars
You left
On my heart
Feeling again
How much they hurt
Remembering
How they got there
How you carved your words
Through
The bark of my heart
Into the living part of me
I have to believe
You were
A phantom lover
To believe you were
Real
Would hurt
So much more
My heart is addicted to you
I have to quit you
Wondering if
I ever will
Need a 12 step program
For lost loves
Admitting I have
No control over
Loving you
Knowing
I can never have you again
It was too good
Not to hurt

Your "OK"
Pierces
My heart
Drops of blood
Leave a trail
Back into
The shadows

"I understand"
"I'm sorry"
Those sentiments
Would be
OK
"OK"
Is not
You hurt me
That's OK
That's life
That's the risk
I'm willing to take
But "OK"
Isn't
Just "OK" hurts
You know that
"OK"
Is cold
Indifferent
Clinical
"Ok"
Is not
Okay

Cupid's bow twangs,
Broken arrows,
On my heart.
Lovely little sparrows,
Ripped apart.

I am dying.
But have no fear.
I am crying.
But shed not a tear.
I am trying.
But it's not too clear.
I am lying.
When I look in the mirror.

Death rides my soul.
Look into my eyes,
See an empty whole.
See the pain,
The fear,
The anger,
The hate.
See the strain,
From having to wait.

I deny love.
Keep it locked inside.
I defy love.
Feelings to hide.

Buried deep,
Within my being,
Notice the turmoil,
The blind are seeing.
Listen to the screams,
The deaf are hearing.
Feel the heat,
And the cold is searing.

Deep within me,
A fire burns,
Hot an' bright.
But I'm so cold,
In the midst of the night.
I breath.
So I must be alive.
But baby,
I need a breath of life.
Heal my wounds.
Pull out the knife.

I deny love.
Keep it locked inside.
I defy love.
Feelings to hide.

Tears bleed through eyes clenched shut.
Face frozen in quiet anguish but
Shower washing away tears, not the shame.
The one you loved is the one to blame.

Memories flooding back to haunt again.
Tears don't stop falling down the drain.
Heart broken, one more time.
Still here, at the scene of the crime.

Hurt for years, feel the pain today.
All at once, a debt I have to pay.
No where to hide from internal agony.
No where to go but inside of me.

Face the day as best I can.
Plastic smile hides nothing.
My eyes tell the truth, if you dare to see.
The pain buried deep inside of me.