They never apologized
They never apologized for how they treated me
But when i reacted to their pain
I was the one to blame

I'm thinking of you
And all the things we didn't do

I'm thinking of you
And all the things we could've done

I'm thinking of you
And all the things we wont be able to do

I’ve always wondered—
if I spoke more,
smiled more,
would I still seem scary?

Would my words
come out soft,
or sharp like they imagine?

Even I don’t know
why I wear this face.
Maybe I’ve forgotten
how to take it off.

Or maybe,
I’m just afraid
you won’t like
what’s underneath.

I am holding it together
There is no weight too heavy
I’m used to the silence
Being alone doesn’t hurt
They don’t mean to forget me
I know I matter
I’m not breaking
I’m okay.

There’s someone I call by something else,
not their name,
just a word that only I
seem to understand.

They move like they don’t know
they’ve been noticed.
They speak,
and the air changes.

It’s silly.
The nickname,
the feelings,
the way I look up a little too long.

But some things feel safer
when they stay unsaid.

I waved at my reflection,
it didn’t wave back.

Just blinked once,
then smirked.

I stepped closer.
It didn’t move.
I asked it,
“Which one of us is real?”

It cracked.
And whispered,
“Not you.”

i wish people told me they were proud of me

i wish i deserved it