Growing up I often felt that I was a little insecure.
My thoughts buzzed like wasps around a rotten apple core.
Manic and drunk on fermented fruit and always seeking more.
I couldn’t see a possible solution or any kind of cure.
It felt like I carried an avalanche inside.
One negative comment could cause a landslide.
Leaving me deserted and trapped under a pile of rubble.
So, I developed a sharp tongue that often got me into trouble.
I struggled to know what I should do and what to believe.
My notions of religion were where suspicious and very naïve.
I was looking for something solid in a world that wouldn’t keep still.
Until finally it took its toll on me, and I became mentally ill.
After much suffering I was given a diagnosis.
The doctors told me I was suffering from psychosis.
My senses became so warped that they could no longer be trusted.
My thoughts were so strong and fast, that they couldn’t be interpreted.
The remaining fractures in my mind became pieces of a puzzle.
Until I learned about neuro plasticity and that the brain is a muscle.
I was carving negative neural pathways that kept me in these vicious loops.
Dopamine didn’t flow freely and started to gather in clustered groups.
Causing a chemical imbalance that needed to be treated with medication.
Until I discovered a technique for myself, that was transcendental meditation.
I could dodge the wave that took me away for hours of over analysis.
To a tranquil piece of mind as I sat firm and magnanimous.
The world around me started to buzz with another worldly force.
I realised that this negative state of mind was so destructive.
I started to let go of the paradigm or maze I’d previously constructed.
You see when you lose your mind is when you find your soul.
Then the mind can heal itself and we become whole.
It felt that I wasn’t alone in this process, something was helping my progress.
There was a light in my mind that came from the darkest recess.
A door had opened allowing the light to enter my heart.
It was conscious and smarter than me it showed brand-new start.
It gave me meaning and purpose, an objective structure to my thoughts.
It provided the bones or framework for me to build on.
As my old ways faded away and were as good as gone.
Guided by the words he spoke during our conversation
This structured self solidified into its own constellation.
Perfectly mirroring the universe his original creation.
It felt like mutiny of my old self as words shone that were new to me.
Words that once felt like riddles now held so much clarity.
An infinite boundless love grew from within.
Immune and resistant to any temptation or sin.
He lit my path and began to show me the way.
With such joy that I just wanted to play,
Now I don’t see myself as a puzzle to be constructed.
I’m better than I was before being rudely interrupted.
this power guided me back home to my own sanity.
not necessarily how I used to be. But, a brand new me.
Now I see because he always knew me.

Hook him up to the machine.
Shock his brain into
mediocrity.
Death stalks him;
he is aware.
There is too much
flash in his eyes.
His brain needs a reboot;
he needs to forget,
like a goldfish, like
a monkey in the zoo.
Hook him up to the machine.
He is too sentimental.
Salmon swim in his blood;
he has a paisley heart,
and a tie-dye soul.
He can smell colors.
Hook him up to the machine.
He has Van Gogh eyes, and
a Bukowski gut; he walks
like he's lost in a maze;
hunchback sadness,
butcher knife nerves,
Hook him up to the machine.
He believes in love,
and has too much trust.
His vivid green memory
is a curse, we need to
crash it, **** the eternal spring.
Hook him up to
the machine.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Pain is inevitable,
Suffering is optional.
The crossroads of success,
Is always constructional.

If we could become tress,
Solid and stoic, deep rooted
In Mother Earth's flesh;
We could stand firm
Through the tempest, unswayed.

But we are only humans.
Covered in darkness.
Hiding behind our fears,
Timidly withdrawing from
The ominous tempest.

So, embrace the fury,
The daunting gales that
Once were scary.
After all, you can't
Stop the waves,
But you can learn to surf.

And even if you sank,
Deeper into the void,
At least you'll drown
Knowing there was
Beauty In The Struggle.