I keep a jar in my corner of my head,
to the left
in which I keep all my fears
along with a couple unheard phone messages and some unused anger. Sometimes I'll go over just to look at them
sift
shuffle
turn over and over again
put them into boxes
take them back out of boxes
put them in other boxes
Most of them are silly really.
I fear either too much or too little,
But the jar completes the little room inside my head
so I keep it there.
I'll pull them out one by one.
I am afraid that when the sun comes again I will pale in comparison
I am afraid that I am not as much as you say I am
I am afraid after the winter you will no longer need me to keep you warm.

Your soul is the sturdy path
On which I walk
Your body beside
Heart inside
Passion so deep
A magical universe
All our own
Obstacles rise and fall
Not as harsh wind and rain
But a newly formed freckle
On your perfect canvas
Gracing not marking
A moment a trial
Forever reborn

Stay.
Accept my imperfections.
I will do anything for you.
I need you.
I need your soul.
I need your mind.
I need your heart.
I need your pain.
I need your tears.
I need you next to me .
Why can't you forgive me for not letting go.
I forgave you for not holding on.

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

Poetry.
A form of catharsis used to
Subtly touch
Violently choke
Mentally ****

Words that cut so deep making the heartless feel
Words screaming with emotions leaving you paralyzed
Words gracefully gliding down the side of your cheek forcing you to smile
Captured in whatever trap the poet wants you in; victimized

Feeding into every word of the poet so easily
Thriving off the beauty that is poetry
Until you’re shouting

Take me!
The art of poetry now flows thorough my body
Becoming intertwined in their words
I absolutely LOVE poetry

I read a significant amount of poetry each day.

It does not matter if their telling a story, sharing their story or that of a friend.

I don't care if their completely ******* in their feelings... I get it!

It does not matter if their on earth, another planet or in the skies....

We can be some where and everywhere at the same time.

and

I don't care if their
off the wall,
completely insane,
love stricken,
obsessed in love,
obsessed in hate,
belligerent,
spiritual or sane.


Understand

Most of us, is one, if not all of these things.

I praise the creative minds who is able to bare what infects their souls to a world of judges, strangers and on lookers.


~Butterfly εїз

Can
       you
              please
                        turn
           ­                  out
                        the
                 lights
         when
    you
go?