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One night, I lay on the roof of my uncle’s car,
the hush of metal beneath my back,
the sky a cathedral of stars above me.
I was ten—
barefoot, breathless,
a soft creature still untouched by the weight of knowing.

I gazed upward,
as if the constellations could answer questions
I didn’t yet know how to ask.

And a strange thought drifted through the dark:
Will I remember this?
This stillness, this smallness,
this girl stretched across a car roof
believing the stars were close enough to touch.

Now I wonder—
how odd it is to know someone so well
who knows nothing of me.
She lives in my marrow,
but I am a ghost to her.
A whisper never spoken.
A future never imagined.

She couldn’t have foreseen
the weight I would carry,
the cracks I’d survive,
the nights I would look up,
but no longer feel wonder.

Did she know
we would be alright?
Or that “alright” would mean enduring
a thousand quiet heartbreaks
before finding the strength
to reach for the stars again?

If I could fold the sky and speak through time,
I’d tell her—
You made it. You did so well.
Thank you for holding on when it was hardest.
Thank you for dreaming when the world was still kind.
You planted the seeds.
I only grew from your light.

And to the woman I am yet to meet—
the future self still waiting in the wings of time—
I don’t know your face,
only the shimmer of your possibility.

But I promise you this:
I will keep going.
For you.
Through every storm,
every silence,
every starless night.

Know me
as the girl who stayed.
Who bore the weight.
Who held on.

And when it's your turn—
fly.
To the Blank Page
Poetry is Death
Psych Ward Poetry
Set 6, Poem 7
For N.
 May 30 Evan Stephens
irinia
where the eye understands the light &
the thought is not a forbidden zone
the sand is blue, the escape slow
into quietude

there we discover that
the tears have their own dying
dreams are not birds without sky
the prayers of the earth are heard by the trees

when I take you inside my temples
there the blood boils like a secret
from the depth of the moon
Like a fiery ribbon waving in the
wind, love once waved at me from
the balcony and wrapped my heart
with its choking burning inferno.

I saw magic within its blaze,
I thought it burned just for me.
I wasn't wrong it definitely burned
just for me, the wizard meant to hurt
me and steal my innocence.

The wizard was a fraud, a codfish out
of water. When I showed strength
he got hotter and threw me into
the fire.

He used me as fuel to feed
his fragile ego and tiny IQ.

As I weathered underneath
his heatwave, he mocked and
belittled me tried to steal
my power.

I felt useless, ugly and unwanted,
everything I did was not enough for
the wizard, he is a ruined beasty
with jagged teeth and an evil soul always ready to devour my self
esteem. His broken mind never
understood time or love, all he
wanted was for me to suffer.

I had to build a bridge between us
to protect myself from his illusions  
and cold heartedness, before he
ruined me and left ashes in my place.
I slowly grew wings of knowledge
and support from my community,
I built boundaries and got stronger,
I gave him to the wolves and took
back my powers.

I let him go and learned to accept
he never loved me, he wanted my life
and money, he wasn't a wizard
he is a monster.

©️ 2025 By Amanda Shelton
they said the clown was sorrow-shaped.
so I looped up in greasepaint—
swallowed a sunbeam,
coughed out a smirk,
and called the ache comedy.

somebody whispered
i fear the bruise.
nah,
i catalogue it.
line breaks for scars,
syntax for shame,
run the hurt through a voice modulator
’til even god can’t tell if i’m praying or riffing.

i’m not dodging the wreckage.
i just built a couch in it.
named the crater: “home?”
drank laughter from a cracked thermos
and kept warm in the glow of a rerun i never starred in.

i’ll play the ghost
if the script pays in quiet.
but don’t staple my name to your healing
and call it holy.

the truth?
clowns rot too.

some nights
i wanna peel off the latex,
lose the joke,
shave the wig,
and just exist—
not perform pain
in a dialect
you can quote later.
When I take my last breath,
I will fight to be free.

I will struggle with every gasp,
I will drag my strife behind me
tired and wrinkled
even in dusty ruins
I will bare my chains,
in between the teeth of angels
they will break for me.

To set myself free
I will break the boundaries
of my imagination
to see all possibilities
ahead of myself.

In between the teeth of angels
lay heavenly possibilities
and beyond the horizon
dreams await me.

©️ 2025 By Amanda Shelton
We used to talk about
going
to Montana--escaping it all,
building a log cabin and
making a garden.  We were
going to hunt and fish for
food--make rugs and
hats from the fur.

But look at us now.
You live in the
city and drive a Volvo.
Goldfish in a glass bowl.
You even taught your
cat to walk on
a leash.
Can you see the
sky with all the smog?

I'm not any better.
Living under the bridge;
the only hunting I do is
for cans, the rare and
illusive
aluminum nickel, so that
I can buy *****.  

I walk down to the
river's edge and look up at
the expansive sky.
I close my eyes.
And when I open them, baby,
we're in Montana.
Here's a link to my you tube channel where I read poetry from my recently published book, Rise Up Collected Poems and Short Stories, available on Booksie.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1khU1Mo5AKE
 May 29 Evan Stephens
jules
the night pressed in,
heavy and mean,
the way it always does
when you’re sober long enough
to feel everything you’ve been running from.

i sat in the kitchen,
a cigarette burning in the ashtray,
the smoke curling up
like the ghosts of all the things
i used to believe in.

there was a cockroach on the floor,
big, slow,
moving like it had seen worse days than me.
i thought about smashing it,
about what it must be like
to live your whole life
dodging shoes and poison
and still keep going.

but instead,
i opened the window,
watched it crawl out into the night.
then i crushed the cigarette,
and thought:
maybe that’s all there is—
just figuring out
who’s worth saving.
and hoping someday,
it’s you.
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