Night is for visualising the dreams,
Day is for turning them into reality.
Gut nods at the dream,
And mind turns it into a hustling bloodthirstiness.
If life is a red blood cell,
A dream is the haemoglobin.

I came home
Contemplating my demise
And you yelled at me
Maybe you meant it
Maybe you didn’t
But you made it worse

How do you live
When the only thing
You feel like doing
Is dying

Maybe this will work
Maybe this is it
Maybe this is the plan
The one that will change things...

I feel hope teasing me
Because it’s still dark
There’s still something terrible within me
But maybe... I think perhaps...
I may yet see dawn

tw self harm


I really thought maybe I could hold out
But I wanted it so ******* bad
I wanted it to look gross
I wanted strips of red covering my wrist
Wanted thick, garnet droplets
Stinging all over my forearm

I wanted to do damage
To see damage
To look hurt
To feel pain
I needed it
Needed the blood

So I drew it myself
And it ******* hurts
But finally I feel relief

I have no one to heal my wounds
There’s this aching in me to be seen
I want you to see the blood
Please, look at me
Look at my wrist!!
I’m in pain!
I’m injured!
And I just... just need someone
To dress my wounds

...

But I know there will be no one
And if I’m to heal
It will be alone
For no one is coming
To stand by my side
No one is coming
To my aid

Some part of me
Is screaming
Crying
Writhing
It’s sick
It’s dying
But I have to...
I have to keep going
I have to function.

But really...
Really all it wants
Is to cry in the darkness
Bleeding
Dying

But I have to function.