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I read our messages from the past and smile so hard...
but then I go back to reality forgetting Im no longer yours
and you're not longer mine...
I wonder what you see
when you look at me.
Do you see the real me
                  or
the me you want me to be?
maybe
i love you
because
i don’t know what love is
i’m sure
i do
but for you
i don’t want to follow the rules
 May 27 Dorothea Daisy
Lyle
why not instead of stacking red
cuts up on your arm and leg
you stack words in bleeding ink
words to live by, to make you think
press the pen tip to your skin
and do not lift up the sharp thing ever again
Me?
A secret.
Too complicated to explain
Whenever people ask.
I had a soft dream,
We were lying in the grass,
Staring at the moon.
Waves caress my feet,
ever so gently,
wind murmurs words of love
to me,
the sun kisses my soul
so warmly.

Within this ocean of affection,
my thoughts tremble,
but my heart yearns
to drown deep,
lost in the ebb.
Love yourself~~~~~
(even when life’s a mess, even when you feel unworthy, even when clouds of doubts and fears surround you)

Imagine creating a masterpiece happily, only to hear someone call it ugly and unworthy.
Yeah.... and that's how God and our parents feel when we talk down on ourselves
I used a notebook for the first time in days,
Writing about flower bouquets.
Naming all the little plants in my garden,
Ways I could use the clover in my yard,
In an elaborate center piece.
Plans to make her fancy flower assortments <3
not even the mirror will take me
all that's left is the see-through vision
in the window by night
They say beauty is pain
beauty it drips
in a red form of liquid that makes me sick
they say the scars last
well so will mine
maybe for awhile or a lifetime
I guess I wrote this about cutting...
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