I miss you.
Although I lost you before I met you
I miss you
So much that I lay awake at night wishing you could hold me tight
I miss you
So much that I cry and don't even know why
I miss you
Sometimes hating the fact that God took you away without us having a chance to play

 I miss you
Although I have never met you
I just miss you and I don't know why.

What is it that makes me me?

Am I;
The angry girl?
Or the depressed?
The dyslexic
Or the gay?
The kind,
Or ******?
The manipulative,
Or the naive?

What is it that makes me me?

Tough question,
I change a lot.
I’m all of the above
And none of the above

Who am I?

I’m inconsistent,
And a pain
And a good friend

Matches constantly lit
No char
No ash

Unscathed

No fire
No ember
Just memories it gave

i hold the memory of your between my palms
your life is hanging on lilac strings tied to the tips of my fingers like a marionette doll,
i swing you into my present
dancing to tunes of music that used to move you,
pull at your heart strings.

all i have to do is stop moving my hands in curves and lines
all i have to do is stop letting you preform pirouettes and arabesques over sheets of paper that have not yet been introduced to the idea of you

i birthed an image of you so beautiful it could live on for eons
but you will no longer live through the words i speak,
you will no longer live in between the pages i keep
you will only reside limbo
in distant memories
fading away steadily, slowly

i loosened the strings
one bye one, your limbs began to go limp
you are no longer the ballerina
light on her feet
twirling in cursive and italics
you’re the ghost of a lover i had painted and framed front and center.

(this is when i take away your immortality
this is where you end and i begin.)

consider this your elegy
rest in peace, lover.

I watched you sleep
As my soul stared deep
Into your own.

Sleeping soundly
Breathing profoundly
You swore.

To be an angel
A beautiful stranger
Unknown.

Someone I owned last night
Someone I swore at last night
A sin we commited, just the two of us, alone.