And maybe,just maybe
If I keep pretending
Long enough
Happiness might forget
It was never mine
And decide to stay.

And if it doesn't
Atleast the light I borrowed
Kept me warm
For one more day.

I wake up with weight
Bt not from pain
Just the heaviness
Of feeling nothing.

I search my chest
Like someone lost their keys
Bt there's no spark
No trace of warmth.

Just silence
Where love used to echo
Now even the ache
Has gone quiet.

It went quiet
Not because it gave up
Bt because it was saving me.

It felt too much
So it chose silence
Over shuttering.

It held the storm
Behind closed doors
So I could keep breathing.

It's not numb
Just protecting
What's still healing

Don't read me if you knew me once
My silence,my laugher ,my folded hands
You'll think these lines are diaries
And search for your shadow in every stanza

This is not for you
Not for the ones who watched me grow
Called me nicknames
Or claim to know how I hurt

I write for the uknown eyes
The ones who don't flinch
At the sight of my rawness
Strangers who won't say
"I know who is about."

My poems are not secrets spilled
Ther are truths I dressed in rhythm
Not confessions for your curiousity

So close the book
If you ever thought you had me figured out
These verses are for the world
Not for you
Who never listened
When I spoke without rhyme.

When iam alone
I let myself believe
Just for a moment
That he misses me too
That maybe he thinks of me
When the sky turns soft
And the world slows down.

Bt it's not real
It's just me
Doing all the loving
In my thoughts.

They say it's nothing
Just a cold
Bt why do I feel
Like the world
Is sitting on my chest.

I try to rest
Bt the night presses too close
And my back aches
Like it's holding a sorrow
It doesn't understand.

It's just cold
Bt it hurts
In ways I can't explain.

You are my ruin
And still,I beg
To be broken again
By your touch.

So I wait ,
Like ruins do
Quiet
Bleeding
Beautiful
Still hoping
You'll come back
And break me again.