life goes
on
so they tell me
two freshmen
gone suddenly
they ex-
plain
how we should keep going
without our
humanity showing
god for-
bid
our grades should suffer
just like all
of us - like they were

Standing in the snow
We kiss on the Harvard bridge
With two cities smiling at us
Because I had stopped
To appreciate their beauty
But got distracted by yours
And you tell me
That you hadn't stopped
In case I was cold
And my laughter
Shakes your shoulder

You said you'd walk me to my door
But the last few feet take twenty minutes
As we talk
Finally we kiss one last time
You tell me to keep in touch
And begin to walk away
I say, "you too"
It takes you ten more feet
Before you clarify
"I meant tonight"

Shivering hole in my chest
whimpering your name
it begs the universe
to let me fall in love with you

I want to ask you
which broken pieces
of your childhood
have influenced
how you want to
raise your kids

I want to listen
to you explain
what you had for
lunch today
on the edge of my seat
to know why
you chose the tacos
over your usual sandwich

I want to wake up
in the middle of the night
and find you there
asleep beside me
I want to memorize
your eyelashes
as my mind
turns itself back off

whimpering hole
deep in my chest
begging the universe
to let me see you again
to let me get to know you
to let me fall in love with you

They tie you down
and you lie there
on your side
imagining your body
walking away
but these ropes
cut into your skin
so you don't
struggle.

They must have
drugged you
because you
can't remember
how to sleep
and your eyes
never stay closed
so you have no
escape.

They are grinning
listing every mistake
you've ever made
explaining
everyone hates you
they don't
want you around
so you sob
silently.

that lumpy muscle imprisoned in my ribcage,
did she ever tell you she can see the future?
She whispers warnings of what is to come
and I am so thankful that she is so wise.

She tightens
and presses
against her bars,
so I freeze.
I listen
to her panicked
breaths
Something
dark
is approaching

You know that thing
where a stupid predator
can't see you
if you don't move?
Well I guess
the darkness
must be pretty dumb.

Because we freeze
the instant she tells me
and we wait
memorizing the shape
of the air in the room.

Late at night
I hear sobbing
in her cage.
But during the day
we live
or we wait
for darkness
to finally win.

I first arrived
and this beach
looked like heaven.
Sand shifting
like clouds beneath my feet,
nothing bad could happen
in a place that looks this good.
And I guess
in the excitement
I never noticed
it was low tide.
My brow furrows
as I try
desperately
to see land past the water
but it is endless.
So I sit at the feet
of this endless god
inhale the salty spray
inhale the peaceful air.
How long have I been here?
At some point
the water
I swear
it moved
I swear
the water
it's coming for me.
My eyes are fixed
the edge of the water
approaching slowly
but I think
it's getting faster.
Cold
wet
my rightmost toe
it is here.
Why am I
still
here?
My mind has tied me down
I stare
unmoving
as the water engulfs my feet.
I do not twitch
I do not blink
I watch
my own fate unfolding.
I never learned
how to swim.