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Under my wings,
you could fly so high
but high is never high enough
when days become
for counting
and
the weekends a necessity

So confident that I bring you to refuge
from the cold, harsh and boredom
when the warm fumes will intoxicate you
into a better reality
for your life means nothing
without me
.
Drugs
drip... drip ..drip
feel the cold water
hit your empty stomach
just take little sips
stomach growls lull me to sleep
i don't like a full stomach
i don't care that it makes me weak
i don't see a cookie
i see 120 calories
22.8 g carbs, 14.4 g sugar
this is my daily life I'm not a rookie
water has zero grams
of sugar,carbs and calories
so I drink water
i have water for dinner
and for a snack
i avoid the scale
i don't weight myself anymore
cause it makes me feel more like
a beached whale
i don't eat breakfast
i eat one meal at 3pm
some people notice so
i just lie and say I'm fasting...
I fired one up on the loading dock
after eating lunch at the workplace cafeteria
I only smoke after a meal or when I'm contemplating death
and I may be contemplating death
because I just had lunch at the workplace cafeteria

my Mother would have a cigarette after dinner
and one before bed
that's probably where I got it
I got a lot of things from my Mother
and I lost a lot of things when she passed
much of my patience
along with a good chunk of character
I still don't cross the line
it's just gotten a bit further away

the memories of childhood have faded
like dates on old concert stubs
but the pain they both endured
in those last few years remains vivid
a stark reminder that life has balances
that illness does not discriminate
that bad decisions are unforgiving
I also believe that the after
holds balance as well
that someday
we will again be wrapped in the arms
of those we miss in life
and all shall be forgiven
oldie
If you are married or in love
Valentine’s Day comes from Cupid, angles up above
Deliveries to work are gifts of candy and flowers
Evening plans, a romantic candlelit dinner for hours
Followed by hugs and endless kisses
And Many sweet untold wishes

However if you are alone or single
This day is an empty heart that sadly tingles
One by One the coworkers receive their deliveries
Their glances of pity added to my miseries
Their words of sympathy only deepened the pain  
Hoping for the day to end before I go insane

A day rubbed in my face
Now lonely bitterness and sadness are my grace
Hurtful memories of Old verse New
Dinner for One instead of Two
No, I do not like Valentine’s Day
I wish it would Please, just go away

There was a time when I too received deliveries
Before the days of now and my miseries
The man I loved did not come home
I spent Valentine’s Day starring out the window alone
I cried myself to sleep and thought,Life
could not be more bleak, for a new young wife

He came home after a night at the bar
He had bought flowers yet left them in the car
The next day when I awoke
Not a word between us, we spoke

The dozen once beautiful long stemmed roses had wilted
Like our love empty and jilted
I silently took a pair of scissors from the drawer by the bed
Cutting the roses One by One at the base of the bulb head
My husband said nothing only shook his head in shame
Silently, I set down the scissors without placing blame

I made it clear I never want roses on this day
We never spoke of it, what is the point anyway
Valentine’s Day is a memory rubbed in my face
Now lonely bitterness and sadness are my grace
No, I do not like Valentine’s Day
I wish it would Please, just go away
However 36 years today
We are still together to my mismay
Going to the bar with the guys for just one drink are famous last words when you are a newly married man of course I didn’t know were he was the was his story
Not!
Not Gonna! we won't.
Force it! If it's not flowing confortably!
We won't fake it or force it,
Follow, flow, feel..I
I feel something..
You feel something.
Excuse me. what did you say.
I can barely hear you most times anyway.
Flow, free, feel..Is it real.
Roll, follow, thoughtful.
Thinking about you.
You Me its all so new..
Mechanical.. unreachable..untouchable.
Winds take me there I wanna be there. Mind.
My touch is blind.
I want to decline.
Don't want to wait for this through time.
relationships through web lines.
Creative brilliant finds.
My ears Must listen..
my heart must keep still block yah from gettin in.
Conversations and its hesistations.
I've got options...
Y.O.U..Really! Am I ignoring.
Imaginations.. forsaking hearts for the taking.
O.V.a... Y.O.U.. really!
Not really!
Ball up in a knot and just cry..
This pixel image has caught my eye.
Giving you attitude.. seeming just rude.
I don't really know you dude!
Don't ask me for my pixels..
Don't ask me for images of my pearls.
Figure out what I'm worth.
I'm from the royalty of this Earth.
Like Mother Earth.
Many fail to value her worth.
Treat her like she's simply dirt.
Come through this video screen..
Get out of my dream.
I'm too tired to keep dreaming Oh I.
It's my time to fly..Oh I..
Wanna love yah Like I'll neva say goodbye.
Click on me..Love on me...Delete me.. or block me..
You can decide what your world wants from me.
Am I a easy accessible accessory.
Or will you come for me cherish me eternally.
Make me a part of your real world.
Capture this exotic pearl..
I won't, force it, prove it perfect.
Not! worth it.
Trying to force a gift.
By selinaSharday 2-2018 S.A.M
We move too fast he asking for things he shouldn't even ask, I didn't buy the lies and the falseness in your eyes.
This Poem was given to me by my friend the Author
and poet J Alexander thank you so Much Jay!
Where are u queen?

Somewhere...
seated in-between faded lines of a potent love poem
written in the 60s by hippies named Flower with the
power putting peace in pens teaching Zen to 10 crescent
moons refusing not to glow, only to then grow-up making
a living as a breath-taking metaphor?

Somewhere...
in a private casbah being made to feel like more than
a woman while God summons a handful of her ebony
angels giving each an epiphany of ample high-5's and
performance promotions for a magic potion creation
well done, one eternity at a time?

Somewhere...
still reminiscing about a kiss that could soften stingy steel,
calling no cobs on the cookie unless cats come correct,
not like rookies but like roosters that ****-a-doddle-doo
and make you sit still while layers get peeled till you fulfill
your fantasy feeling the
power of Niagara’s flow?

Somewhere...
letting tomorrow take care of itself as it usual does
while wishing someone-unlike-no-other would take
care of you today, tattooing the inside of your eyelids
with the letters L.O.V.E. with binding blood for you
to gaze at a view of outer-space using commitment
constellations as mental masking tape, sticking by your
side until there is no such a thing as time?

Where did you go?

Somewhere...
sleeping solo, dripping "I'll show him" slob on pride
pillows instead of riding bicycles with no seats -
just the pole, juxtaposed underneath unapologetic
satin sheets swapping gossip on unlimited minutes
about unfinished business to bitter listeners with
limited vision, although behind your back would switch
in an instance, since it's existence - misery always needed company

Somewhere...
thinking about making the 1st move for the 2nd and 3rd time?

Somewhere...
keepin' it 100 with 90% of your single friends?
Where are you my luv?

Somewhere...
becoming conscious, covered deep with earth on a
continent in a South African mine in your prime,
replacing the black blood and applying your tear drops
upon diamonds, making them shine twice as bright
with infinity shelf life?

Somewhere...
practicing saying a surname on for size in front of a
candlelit white picket fenced vanity mirror,
placing pillows near navels underneath your
blouse knowing it fits your style and hoping
that daddy will be speechless proud about his
princess, pride and joy?

Somewhere...
working too **** hard?
Where are you irreplaceable?

Oooooh.....still right here, sippin' Verbal Koffee,
listening to Sade’s I Couldn’t Love You More and down for whatever!!
©2009
jAy aLexander
Fountain Head Publishing

Years back!
A wonderful him back then and when to be remembering the talents of a poet with his hearts pen.
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