The days are nowhere to be found,
when there were fairies all around,
girls and boys had their unique wars,
did you wish to the shooting star?

Like we had our own different world,
living with fancy and eating mud,
nothing was called as such absurd,
skating on floors and down to earth.

Imprisoned in a classroom for a decade,
felt like sleeping to the judgement day,
then the recess was so highly praised,
and homecoming was the best part of the day.

We all had that unconscious mind,
doing things now we can't find.
I look at the photos from the past,
and realize that time never really lasts.

i pick you up from the armpits
shining in the December of yr adolescence

this morning a 19 yr old boy asked me how to spell achievement

this afternoon i saw exhaustion in a single mother's fingers

I saw peace in the bald, pink cancer patient seeking holistic remedies at Whole Foods

the weary barista delights in his tip jar

and this
this is the tip

of the glacier

that is hope

a shipwrecked shore to call home

you are not from here

sailor

do not anchor

yr worries to reality

we all beat the ocean
in our sleep

I have never learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em.
I have never gotten a tattoo.
I have never felt healthy but stayed in bed all day
or watched the sun drown in the ocean.
I have never been able to touch the delicate legs of a spider.
I have never betrayed a friend
or robbed a bank
or stolen a life.
I have never hung up the phone when I needed to and
I have never felt comfortable in my own skin.
But once I stood in the middle of a raging storm,
rain drenching me and wind whipping my hair and clothes,
and when a bolt of lightning struck
not one hundred feet away
I was indestructible.

Standing in the middle of a raging storm
feels like
the very world as we know it is coming to an end.
The apocalypse
or Armageddon
becoming a reality
in the screaming winds, bitter rain drops, and endless noise.
Lightning flashes everywhere
tangling with the clouds and trees
persistent
unstoppable power
like a cobra among a nest of baby birds.
And when the thunder rumbles past
ear-shattering in its intensity
in its powerful force
like a freight train come derailed
I realize that never before
have I ever once truly
lived.

Note: This is a spoken word poem. Read aloud for best affect. Poem will read with a natural flow.*

Remember back when beauty was that little yellow flower?
And nobody picked it because they were afraid that the color would fade
So they just sat
And they stared
Silent
In awe
For hours at a time
The way that today I look at my reflection
But the awe has turned to agony
And I look in my eyes, and recoil
What used to be “Just fine” now causes inner turmoil
Isn’t that sad?
That flower got picked from its window box in the schoolyard
And just like we expected, life for it got hard
The flower scarred
Its pain written out on every single petal
And the petals, they faded
Like now natural beauty has become overrated
As the flower sits in a bouquet of hybrid roses
And those roses have thorns
Thorns that ***** and sting and poke
Like when you say, “Aw, c’mon, it was just a joke”
To that girl you called ugly ‘cause she dyed her hair and got braces
Trying to fit in with all the other faces
Isn’t that what society wants from us today?
To change and rearrange what God gave us
To fill ourselves with plastic because, according to the famous ones
That’s what makes life so fantastic
And Barbie isn’t our role model because she’s smart
Not ‘cause she’s a doctor and a vet and a scientist and probably a professor in art
But because she’s skinny
And if you put her proportions on a real girl
That girl would be in a hospital
Fighting anorexia while she gets another implant
Today it feels like we don’t stand a chance
Because they tell you that if you wanna make an impression
Just forget that yellow flower
And now, with every waking hour
I think about how I could be taller
Or have prettier hair
Maybe if I dyed it black or red or blonde then everyone would care
Maybe none of them would stare
Maybe I could finally live my life
Without everyone waiting to see if I can finally live up to the expectations
Because I can’t
I look in that mirror wondering if I can see what everyone else is wanting
Because once upon a time
I thought I was fine
I thought short hair was spunky
And dark eyes were lovely
It’s like I’ve been living a lie
Like Christmas time when you finally ask Mommy if Santa is fake
And she hesitates
And then she tells you yes
So I stare for hours and hours
I’m just like that flower
Now I’m broken and I’m plain
When did beauty become a game?
What’s ugly is the way kids hate themselves now
‘Cause of what the TV is telling us now
That we all need to learn how
To look like everyone else
Hate to burst your bubble that I can’t look like Paris or Nicki
(Spoiler alert: They’re fake)
Not unless you want me
Destroying myself
Because I refuse to be like everyone else
I just wanna get rid of the shame
That makes me blame myself for not being “pretty enough”
I just wanna be that flower
Whose beauty was natural and everyone watched for hours
Not needing to compare themselves to it
Because they all looked just as beautiful
And they knew it
So maybe some of us who are still sane, we can make a change
Show the next generation that beauty isn’t in what you gain
It’s when you remain the same
And maybe I can look in that mirror
Without any fear
And actually smile
And sit there awhile
And find beauty without a search
Maybe then there wouldn’t be so much hurt
Like when we see that yellow flower
Petals stretched toward the sun
Then we will know our job is done
And we have finally won

If younger me saw me now
It would not be good.
She would ask how
I would just hang my head.
She'd ask why
I wouldn't say a thing.
She asked me not to say goodbye
I promised I'll stop.
I'll try so hard,
I said one day I may drop.
She said she knew I wouldn't
But if I almost stir,
I will stop.
Just for her.

Remember when you fell down
And everybody laughed?
Not me. I dusted you off, and helped you up.

Remember when you failed that test,
And thought you were stupid?
Not me. I showed you my test, and called you Einstein.

Remember when that rumor was spread,
And thought nobody would talk to you again?
Not me. I called you up, not believing a word.

Remember when you said you were fine,
And meant it?
Not me. I saw the pain in your eyes.

Remember when you tried to get me back,
And be friends again?
Not me.

You're beautiful on the inside and out
That's not true
Think you're unintelligent and not worth it
I refuse to
Believe you're valuable
Never.
Give up yet?

the day came,
I put my laces back
in my shoes.

Let freedom reign,
give me just
3 clues.

True blue, darling.
You sang these songs
4 years ago.

Why I waited until
now to listen,
is beyond me,
myself, and I.

The day came,
the day went.
Days spent with
rubber-bands
over mt asics.

The circle-spiral
across my chest,
in the shape of a
beautiful
orange sun.

Shower-shoes
for my water
quest.
Barcode number read
7097277340-8769
laser-band,
laser-tag,
all of my clothes
in a brown paper bag.

Just when I thought I
sipped liquid gold,
I remember there is
velcro shoes that
strap tighter
around my feet.

I skipped, I galloped,
I stripped, I tripped.

I'm sorry Mom & Dad,
will you forgive your
baby girl?