hey everybody! first things first. i dont support ryan. if you do, then you are 100% one of his alt accounts. if you arent aware about who this is, his name is ryan geoffrey hayward. i wont attemt to explain the whole story, but essentially he s3xually harrased a 13 year old on this website. he is a cyber stalker and has done so much more. the victim, Kai, took a brave choice and posted a poem about everything he had done, (which ryan flagged for reiew so it is not available right now), but just know that what he did was really ****** up, unacceptable, and quite literally illegal. he is a disgusting human being. anyways, he has been making a lot of fake/alt accounts and commenting on kai's poetry with things like defending himself (BRO HE KEEPS SAYING HE HAS 180 IQ) by saying that he's smart, a nice guy, and that another person tangled in this mess, Dom, is a p3do. i personally believe he isn't, but **** knows what happens on the internet. maybe i'm secretly 128 years old!!! anyways, ryan usually comments on poems with a name with capitalizations, usually 2-3 words, and REALLY long comments that defend himself. he really thinks he's so sly. kai is really doing her best at reporting his alt accounts, but it would be fvcking amazing if you ever see a comment that he probably made, please report and block that person. we don't want more people getting into this mess. anyways, thats all i have to say.

EDIT: he seems to be 100% convinced that i am kai's boyfriend just because i respect her. how dumb can this guy get. he recently dm'd me on here saying AND I QUOTE, "Gay is clay like sunlight day. Mold it to cold or be bold and it'll be folded to xmas woes or a mother's hold. You don't know your sexuality. Jesus christ, its like this. Do you like ***** or ******. Simple as that. Perhaps you like both and hey, you're bi-******. Kids today are really ******* dumb. Would you like to play a game of chess? The rules are simple. I knock over human life pawns and you get to do the same, until the queen gets slit too. You lose a pawn due to psychological un-well-ness, or I do. Yes or no to this game of chess?". LIKE BRO 😭 anyways for the record, i don't know kai in real life. i am gay. i am not dating her. she is an amazing person but as i said before, I'M GAY. this mf needs to get a life. also, he recently posted something reffering to me as "a certain nobody" saying that he needed to take be down. good luck with that, ryan. we're waiting for your next move.

This is, well, I can't even sugarcoat these things anymore, I've written so many, she had a presence in many circles.

I know Mari had friends on HP, more than just poetry buds, but good friends. She sadly was killed in action two weeks ago on Friday, April 4th, and was laid to rest in the main military cemetery April 7th in Kup"Yansk Vuzlovyy, Kharkivs'Ka Oblast', Ukrayina. Special sympathies to her husband SSgt J. Reihl of the 13th National Guard Brigade.

She'll be very missed by everyone who knew her. She was a true ray of sunshine in everyone's lives, despite so much loss in her young life she never stopped smiling or laughing unless she was posing for a glamour shot. Glory to Ukrayina, and glory to all her fallen heroes. Let their sacrifices for our freedom never be forgotten.

Major Tarasova, Med Svcs Kharkiv

The rain pounds through everything.
The earth fills up.
Who would complain, refrain!
Reevaluate your luck.

Flesh melts and burns, it isn’t real,
But a future not so far off.
I see coiled springs, and reactive things,
And sick speculations rule my thoughts.

Gods help us all.

A devil drawls. A siren shrieks.
The masses spit and shout.
A dried up tear for who cannot speak.
No light can lead us out.

The story will not change,
And the ruler won’t relent.
Mere reluctance makes revolution not,
And all my thoughts are spent.

Gods help us all.

Three years a mother
                       Look at you so tall!

Three years a juggler
                        Be careful don't fall!

A mother, a lover, a nurse, a friend
                        Go on now baby let's hear you count to ten!

A sometimes yes to the invite
                           Poor baby has the flu!

An often last minute cancelation
                           The sitter has something else to do!

I feel so tired, exhausted, and lonely
                           Wake up little baby let's get dressed for the day!

Not welcome in spaces where once I was praised
                            Come on goofy girl we've got a busy day!

But I can be a mother and love you just the same
                            Good job my baby you said your own name!

**** me, kindly
With your gentle hands
Save me, oh so sweetly
For in your tender grasp
Lies the only cure
To my ugly.
Undesirable.
Unsalvageable pain.

                                                    𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢—
                                           𝑀𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑—
                                                        𝐼­ 𝑏𝑒𝑔—
                                                         𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡.
                                                         𝑂𝑛𝑒.
                                                        𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑛­𝑔.


                                                      𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑙­𝑦.
                                                       𝐾𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑦.
                                               𝐾𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒—𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒.


Gentle hands
We've already established
Could never do any harm
So clearly—
No harm shall be done
As you
Oh, so kindly
Wrap your gentle hands around my neck
And oh, so sweetly
Squeeze.

                                               ­                                             𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑟.
                               𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒.
                                                        ­                                    𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑔𝑜.
                                                             ­                         𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑒’𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑.
                                                        ­                       𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒.
                                                        ­                  𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛.
                                                            ­𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠.
                                                          ­                      𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒.
                                                      ­              𝐼𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑑𝑒𝑣𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.

𝐀𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞—𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲—
𝐀𝐬 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮—
𝐓𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐲—
𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞.

Cradle me in those loving arms
Attached to such gentle hands
With such fateful grace
Hold my head close
To that half-loving heart.

                                                𝐼𝑓 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦—
                                                        ­                𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑒—𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦—
                                                         ­                 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠.
                                                           ­                               𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓𝑠.
                                                        ­     𝐵𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑦.
                                                         ­                  𝐿𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑠.
                                                        ­                                   𝑆𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑙𝑦—𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔.
                                                   𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑦 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑠.
                                                       ­     𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑗𝑜𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑦.

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐩—𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲—𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧.
𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.
𝐓𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬—
𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤—
𝐈𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞—𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫—
𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞—𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫—
𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲.
𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞.
𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬—𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞.
𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧.

I am so feeble beneath your counterfeit love
So weak
That even your tender caress—strips me of breath
Strip me fully
Until I am—nothing more
Let me be—breathless—in your hold
For it is this breath—that brings me pain
It is this life—that burdens me
Torments me
Brainwashes me—into loving you less
Fools me—into loving other things—instead.

                                                ­                               𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠—
                                                          ­           𝑊𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑡.
                                                         ­                    𝑆𝑜 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑦—𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒.
                                                             ­          𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒.
                                                          ­                             𝐾𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑒—𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑙𝑦.
                                                     ­           𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠—𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.
             𝐺𝑖𝑓𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝐼 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟—𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑎𝑙.


𝐍𝐨—𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞.
𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐈—𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐞—𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭—𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞—
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐬.
𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬.
𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐦𝐲.
𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲.
𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤.
𝐔𝐧𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥.


**** me—kindly.
Please.
Save me—sweetly.
By teaching me—the art of dying.
With every soft hesitant word—
Cheap enough—for me to afford—
Smother me—in the silence—
Where my torment—can finally—vanish.

                                        𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ—𝑖𝑠­ 𝑛𝑜 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚.
                               𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚—𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒.
                                        𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑒—
                             will you—
                                                            ­     oh so sweetly—
                                  save me—
                                                             ­               by
                                                 killing me—
                                                     kindly?