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Poet 6d
I never understood it
The difference between alone and lonely
How can you be lonely if you’re not alone?
If there are people everywhere how can you be lonely?
But now I see
I see why I’ve been sad for what feels like forever
I can see how even with so many friends
Friends I care about
Who care about me
I can still be so lonely
It’s like
Insecurities cancel out the people you care about
With so much insecurity to spare

Lately it’s been hard
Nothing has changed
But maybe I have?
I’ve been pulling away
Stopped texting
Stopped answering calls I didn’t have to
Someone texted to ask if I was ok
I had to lie
It’s no good lying to yourself if you’re going to tell people the truth
Now my phones always off
I can’t bear to answer my friends
But I’m always terrified they have a group chat without me
I’m sure a psychologist would have a field day here
Reading my words
Or probably not
I tend to make a big deal of things
Everyone’s as messed up as I am

















                                                                            Right?
  May 28 Poet
Lyle
I no longer have the name I was given
when I was seven it was changed
"for your safety"
Like my mother would care enough to come find me
the only thing she cared about was her next fix
I didn't get a say in the changing of my birth name
They changed
One
Letter.
One letter later I had a different identity
I hated the name, told my adoptive mother so
every time she called me it I responded with
That's Not My Name.
but here I am, ten years later, responding to a name I hate
It reminds me that they didn't care enough to listen to me
That's Not My Name.
sometimes when strangers ask me for my name I am still tempted
to respond with the name of my past
it is beautiful, it was MY NAME.
All I wanted was to have an opinion, to be heard
To keep my name my name my name MY NAME.
That's not my name
From Hayley to Harley. For years I got teased and called "Harley Davidson" and "Harley Quin". Technically they changed my middle name and last name too, but changing my first name hurt worse since I hated the name SO MUCH.
  May 24 Poet
Mark Bell
Paralysed on the
Highway of hate
Dancing with the devil
at the pearly gates.
Knocking on heavens door
Can I come in
I need to score.

All you need is hate
All you needs is hate
Fill your veins
Before it’s too late.
Keep on dancing
At the pearly gates.

Paralysed on the
highway to hell
Too many stories
Where once I fell
Can I come in
I need to score
That’s why I’m knocking
On heavens door.

All you need is hate
All you need is hate
Fill your veins
Before it’s to late
Keep on dancing
At the pearly gates

The world keeps turning
While I keep burning
I’ve filled my veins
What’s in store
If I can’t open
Heaven's door.
  May 24 Poet
Lyle
I tried to get over my hate for you
the same way someone would get over
a phobia
Halfheartedly
and with the feelings of fear and hate lingering still
even after I tried to convince myself they were gone
  May 24 Poet
Lyle
I would rather be dirt poor with a loving family
then live in this big expensive house of nightmares
  May 22 Poet
Lyle
It's not the falling that hurts-
It's the before.
when you're standing on the edge
That's when it hurts.
The fall is the most freeing part-
the weightless, unburdening float towards reality
and then with a SNAP
you realize that
The landing hurts too.
You will experience pain before the fall, peace before the landing.
  May 22 Poet
Lyle
you twist words that come from my mouth
you bend them into a sick shape
to match your will
you distort them until they fit
your version of events
You make things up
to make me seem like the bad guy
in your eyes there is only one truth
and it's the one you create from the words
you twist from my mouth
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