My punishment for being kind,
too kind ,Was a curse
That I'd never know my own worth

I try to live life with this weight
But I'm falling apart
Guess it was fate
that I'd get punished for a golden heart

so here I am ,
feeling helpless,
feeling worthless

when people see a person hurting
they seldom try to ease their pain
they make jeering remarks
and take their own digs and hits
for no one notices
if a bleeding person coughs up blood
those silent souls, drift alone in the dark.

if only hearts could learn to mend,
hold the broken, be the friend.

Every day it’s you who I see
I don’t know how to be
Here I stay thinking
       Out loud
Every day it’s you
I can’t live without you
I’m by your side
I watch you sleep at night
I’ll be holding you tight
Each night baby I’m here
Every moment it’s you
Every moment, every day

I tell her I'm fine
I tell him I'm great
I keep preaching love
While I reek of hate

I bought the best of materials
For this teary wet wall
The thickest facade
That I will never let fall

I decide weeks in advance
The emotions I will feel
It's hard to be sick
But it's harder to heal

I feel comfort in my decision
To lie to all around me
So I may continue to rot
So no one will stop me

I know all the steps
The steps one takes to remedy
But the plague in my blood
Has made me lose my memory

For now I'll be alive
Though I might not be living
And I'll cling onto my blight
And all that it is giving

I want to cry
But I physically can’t

Over the ridges of kettle corn chips
as some sort of enduring
piece mail attempt at balance.

It's never possible.
You are unlovable.

And if fault may lay,
it lay in me.
When I die,
early of my years,
I've gladly gone,
and am listening to music
with Noni
and Tim.

lately all I get
are broken backs
and droopy eyes.

cracked ribs
and split lips.

gurgling breaths
and hollow cheeks.

a bright flame burning
but buried
too deep.