You took me in at the start .
You gained my trust, you never fell apart.
Little did I know, you weren’t what you said.
For I looked in your eyes and never saw the dread.
We laughed and we cried,
You faked smiles and you lied.

I never saw what you painted on my back.
The big red target, the center covered in black.
When you let down your arm, it hurt like hell.
The knife, the blade, piercing deep.
I never wanted to trust again, all because you were the one friend I wanted to keep.

my heart is broken,
aching, hurting, why did you do this?
What did I do...?
The pain, it hurts so much...
And the glass has broken,
The cracks have formed.

My breath made visible clouds into the winter night as I spoke to you through the phone.
I spoke with honesty,
          “I’m Just a Nervous Kid.”
In which you replied.
          “We All Are.”
And with that, I knew... I knew I could trust you.

Cross Your heart
And Hope To Die,
Promise Me You’ll
Never Leave My Side.

Cross My Heart
And Hope To Die,
Promise You I’ll
Never Leave Your Side.

though your tears sink through my phone,

oh I wish you were with me,

where you felt at home.

your pain lifted,

your hurt shifted.

i would carry some weight,

for i don’t wish to see you in this state.

i have never seen you cry,

the emotions continuing to multiply,

let me take some weight, let me lift it to the sky.

for you are a simple boy,

trapped in a complex world,

my only wish is to see you restored.

the autumn leaves fall,

the winter wind stings,

much like your pain and sorrow.

i wish that you could take a piece of my soul, only for awhile, just to borrow.

you are a thousand stars up in the sky,

your emotions have you tied.

and much like the tears that soak through my phone,

i open my arms, welcoming you home.

Hello, Friends.
I have now decided to let go,
Hiding and keeping my name in secrecy to most.

What’s up,
My name is finnick matthew and my last name will remain unknown. :)

My
         Head

   Constantly
Spins
       When
  I’m
Thinking
Of

You.

his voice has always had this reassurance to it.

not the kind of reassurance you'd get from a friend, parent or sibling.

it's the reassurance that you hang on to.

the kind you'd think about five years from now.

the kind that keeps you up at night from the butterflies his words created.

it's reassuring.

and it's all i need, all that anyone really needs.

life would be simpler if we could all understand that.

sometimes i wonder.

did it hurt when you left?
did it hurt when you said all of those things?
did you really mean it?

sometimes i wonder...

the late nights that i have pushed through trying to understand,
how was it so easy for you?
you moved on without a problem, a year and five months gone...

why is it i still miss you when you don't even seem to notice me.
i'm invisible, a ghost, another blurred face in your peripheral vision.

but like you once said,
the seasons will continue to change, the sun will still set, the world will still turn...

how was it so easy for you when anytime i saw you, my stomach would churn?
how was it so non-chalant when i couldn't even stop myself from crying when you walked by?

a year and five months, gone.

sometimes i still listen to our song.
a forgotten memory in the back of your memory, i'm sure...

time has passed and now we're just a blur.

see, i thought it was no strings attached.

i first noticed by your protective words and intoxicating eyes.

i tried to not let it show,

i tried to not let you know,

but like any fool...

i fell for you and i didn't mean to.

don’t be afraid to fall in love

especially when the One your with is fading away

but the one you’ve known only for a day

is there for you when you needed Them most

because it doesn’t take love to know someone inside and out

it takes two souls that were bonded at the start

love ignites at the sight of life

I wish I never had to bare the scars that I have today...
But they’re what make me.

I got the phone call.
The one that always haunted my dreams.
I Knew you were falling apart...
at the seems.
You had just started your life,
Living free, only 18.
I broke as your sister spoke,
Telling me how you tied that rope.
Each knot in its proper place,
Took your time, wasn’t a race.
Everyone screamed that it wasn’t fair.
But you went ahead and kicked the chair.
I never knew how bad it’d get.
So for now on, I lie and call it *******.
We’re all broken here, never saved.
Teens doing drugs... having ***,
And getting played...
But most importantly,
We’re all getting plagued.

nothing makes me sadder than my own head.

it was raining.

the world was mine to take, so I stepped outside and danced around.

I took off my coat and began to let myself soak up the water from the sky,

Let this illusion disintegrate, for no one could ruin this, not even with goodbye.

My tears blended with the water droplets as they hit my face,

The world was truly within my fates.

you were just like cigarette smoke.

the smell of it stuck to everything it touched, yet vanished so quickly.

one word, but a hundred emotions.

one picture, but a thousand messages.

one life, but a million destinies.