You turn real ugly when gambling
Someone completely new
Feelings end up getting hurt
By monstrosity you morph into

Lightning strikes ground between us
Bolt rippling through the earth
Just want to understand
How much tension these games are worth

It's like you depart this planet
Moment you begin
Nothing left behind here matters
Long as you win

You load account the first time
Dominoes start to fall
It's deposit after deposit
Until nothing left to spend at all

Spiraling downward swifter than bullets
You continue to accelerate
Convinced answer is sending a larger amount
Balance decreasing at alarming rate

You're sure I'm trying to nag and *****
Dousing in negativity
Swear that isn't my intention
Just desperate to make you see

My objections come from place of concern
I've seen you make the same mistake
No matter the repercussions you never learn
How many disasters does it take?

And only after you're down on your knees
In corner trapped with nowhere to go
You regret your reckless behavior
Demanded to reap what you did sow

You have zero temperance
In regards to this addiction
Put above everything else
Even when causing friction

You'll slouch there hours on end
Staring at seductive screen
Until every penny is blown
All or nothing-there's no in-between

It is irrelevant who's it is
If accessible it's fair game
Possible consequences ignored
Not experiencing any shame

You aquire most of the money
When you've earned I bite my words back
Have every right to waste it
I do my best to cut you some slack

But when feeling the first symptoms
Impossible to not be mad
Frustrated sick and pondering
The pile of dope we could have had

But even worse when it's my funds
Thrown right down the drain
Too selfish to share winning opportunities
Enough to drive a person insane

And when I dare offer advice
Urging you to cash-out
Pleas are an inconvenience
Judgement automatically doubt

So have no choice but helplessly watch
Your balance goes up and down
Even when succeeding half the time
Still eventually drown

Of course going to criticize
Irresponsible actions
You lash out at me claiming
"I am a distraction!"

It must be easier blaming me
Take responsibility for decisions
Uncaring that hurtful remarks
Construct undeniable division

Your irrationality unnerves me
Ultimately pushing me away
Sacrificing anything for one more spin
Blind to price you pay

you spoke of dreams,
moments not here,
but lingering just beyond reach.
i see you too—in flashes,
a laugh, a name i never fully said.

i close my eyes,
and there you are,
in the tremble of stars,
the flicker of streetlights,
the hum of midnight waves.

you linger like a soft melody,
always near,
but never enough.
a secret i kept in silence,
carried with every breath.

When everything in sight bursts with colors bright
You anticipate sensations that excite
How you shake my body like ripples through the ground
How you make my head spin as if on a merry-go-round
Shots of whiskey soaking through my skin
Was it a glimpse of heaven or one step away from sin?
You said I am worthy of celebrating what's underneath my clothes
Fantasy manifested
Hair down to my toes
Does ever it captivate your mind with memories?
How it mattered to trace my curves with ease?
It is not intoxication causing my cheeks to flush
Hard finding words to correctly describe this rush
And never got another chance to repeat our brief interaction
Well I hope I was able to reciprocate the same level of satisfaction
I did my best being a version of myself I believed you'd desire
Amidst laughter realized sparks in my center had grown into fire
And I will cherish warmth even if I never see your face again
In veins your name flowed as effortlessly as ink from my pen
Unlike you and simplicity and perfection
Scars are too deep
Too afraid of rejection
And you pointing out reasons I had to love myself
For the first time in a long while seemed to truly help
I wish you could have cradled me in that tent forever
Of course every tie must eventually sever
In your presence I no longer was haunted by ghosts from my past
Potential palpable
Hours ended too fast
When our lips met pretended it would never stop
Unable to control way my stomach flip-flopped
You had this personality that made me feel good
I showed you my favorite spots around my neighborhood
It was obvious you were handsome
To have your interior match?
Already knew better than to get too attached
That night I was happier than I'd been in quite awhile
Surprised how easily you coaxed out my smile
I loved your tattoos and intelligent brain
Plus the method you used your hands made me go insane
We took dab hits staying up most of the night
Until we fell asleep conversing still holding each other tight
For two friends who had so recently met
Admit I sure felt close
*** was like a drug and I couldn't help but crave another dose
I yearned to be better
For you tried to be enough
With so much distance between us
Quitting too tough
So continued living
Stumbling the dark
The hunger shifted to somewhere in the back of my heart
I should have realized from the beginning you were too good for me
Did
Couldn't help but long for what couldn't be
These emotions will stick with me wherever I may go
When I seem sad I look back and recall the gentle glow
I felt when you hugged me
Oh I miss your embrace
In return I hope you sometimes also miss my face