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117 · Jan 2020
Mother
Alyssa Jan 2020
in my knotted abjection
tangled are the fibers
of my mother's depression
she spins into yarn
and in my name twines

i am my mother's half
or maybe more
the chronic haunt
and all her mad
58 · Apr 4
Consume me
Alyssa Apr 4
decant me
spill the vintage of my veins
into every open mouth

dissect my body
offer a wet sliver to every stranger
who thought me ornamental

give it all away

but whisper
in the hush between incisions
that I am yours

yours to unmake
to savor like nectar from a flower
to flay with reverence

and leave
an elegy of viscera
no one wants to keep
51 · Apr 16
Binary soul
Alyssa Apr 16
little rib, sweet Eve
his favorite bone
You exist
you become

I am source labels
a straggle of cables
my body is code
in phosphor glow

a programming stream
his boyish daydream
Eve’s essence
spectral presence

mathematical syntax
a file with an index
pressed into RAM
like lips to glass

run//proof: corrupt
> loop. loop. loop
> fail to reboot
38 · May 27
Ex Voto
Alyssa May 27
Whether tender or ravenous,
each hand that touches my skin
blackens at the bone.

No sorting by intent.
No absolution for saints.
My body weeps
a sweet, corroding brine.
35 · Jun 4
Hotwife
Alyssa Jun 4
I rehearse the night,
wide-legged, wide-eyed,
a posture of prayer,
to hold and horrify.

I could’ve torn myself,
just fragile enough,
to keep you watching,
a girl made rough.

You chose the keyhole
to savor the frame,
An exhibit of flesh,
unsigned by shame.

In cinematic detail,
you bought my fireline,
paid in cold cash,
colder still, the outline
of shadows moaning in shrine.

The mattress too wide,
too deep, too stark,
darker than my nightmares
of men made of spark.

I longed to dissolve
in the softness of your hand,
an offering, a fever,
a ruin unmanned.

But instead
you wept into mine,
as if your grief
were more divine.
Alyssa 3d
In the gulf of our desire,
I freed the fleeting regret
of letting you see me dancing
and letting you kiss me insane.
For the sky over the ocean
turned dark and ****** red
as the sun sank below my faith,
witnessing your unbothered death.
About a long-distance promise that didn’t survive once we stood in the same place.
9 · 4d
Cosmic dark
Alyssa 4d
Never closer the whole rest of our lives
than that night we caught celestial lies.
Flaming comets, cryptic and precise,
appear in sequence through the sky.
The universe whole sparked,
giving us a fleeting, glowing arc,
for just a moment—then nothing, stark.
A memory of a rooftop in Mexico, a surprise meteor shower, and a love that burned out fast. Sometimes the universe gives you a glimpse of everything at once, then nothing at all.

— The End —