I can now see
that you've forgotten about me.

Even when you're asleep next to me in bed

I still miss you

Because I know one day you'll be

gone

we haven't been friends in a while.
mostly because
I kind of broke your heart, I think,
and I apologised to you
over and over
in my head, and out loud,
but it may not have been enough.
anyway, your best friend
has his girlfriend
and I heard about what's happening
in your family.
you used to have someone to talk to --
I used to be that, for you,
and what I did took that away
and I wonder who you go to now
but I know the answer is 'no one' --
there are things I'd like to tell you
but I'm not sure you want to hear them,
there are things I could do
if you still wanted me around
but
after all these months of
pretending we're okay
I just can't find the words to say
"I'm still here, just in case,
if you need me."

Reaching over
and not feeling your warmth
beneath my hand
is the epitome of loneliness.

If someone even dares to say your name around me,
only one word comes to mind.
It's the best word to describe you.
The basic definition?
Miserably inadequate.
Synonymous with your name.
I pity you.
Truly, I do.
I cannot imagine what it's like to not be able to help yourself.
Isn't that the goal of humans?
"Help yourself in order to help others."
But you can't.
How sad, how miserably inadequate.

All at once, the thoughts come running back.
No, not just running...
Sprinting.
Their feet hit the track like a gavel hits the sound block.
Obstacles don't mean a thing -- puddles, hurdles, cracks in the tartan --
They don't stand a chance.
There's no stopping them.
They aren't sprinting a hundred meter.
They aren't sprinting a four hundred meter.
They are sprinting a ******* mile race.
Round and round they go, never stopping, not even bothering to pace.