The feeling is exciting
A thrilling feeling the first day you stop taking the pill
The pill that should prevent you from getting pregnant
A pill you have swallowed every day for years
Suddenly it is gone from your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

Your body is shocked
Shocked by suddenly feeling itself again
Shocked by not being regulated by prescribed hormones
New types of cramps, new changes to your body, new sensations,
Suddenly being aware of your body is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

Every cycle is tracked
You want to try and find that golden fertile window
Peeing on ovulation sticks to check if the line is getting darker
Introducing transactional *** in the bedroom
Suddenly tracking your ovulation is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

You know you had *** at the right time
The two week window waiting game starts
Peeing on a pregnancy test fills you up with hope and anxiety
Trying to stay in control to protect yourself
Suddenly stocking up on pregnancy tests is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

Finally the two lines show
You have a positive result
The many previous exhausting months feels worth it
Now new symptoms and worries are introduced
Suddenly asking Doctor Google for advice is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

The 12 week scan feels far away
Each day feels like two
Getting to the first scan is now the only focus
You hope for the best but fear the worst
Suddenly checking for blood in your underwear is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

The fear is confirmed
You see the dreaded blood
Your body is back in shock and your mind quickly follows
All the dreams and hopes the two lines created disappear within a second
Suddenly feeling empty is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

Hormones, emotions and pain fills up your body
You fight to find a reasoning but know it is nature’s way
Trying to focus on the positive in a negative space
You know you succeeded once so you say to yourself the two lines will appear again
Suddenly feeling empowered to restart the process is part of your everyday routine
You want to start a family of three

Two pink lines show on the test once again
The anxiety of losing is lifted day by day
9 months pass and you are finally here
Lying in my arms, feeding from my breast, growing into your own person
Suddenly feeling grateful is part of our everyday routine
You made us a family of three